Yesterday, I prayed at bedtime for instruction on my tithe, about what I should do. Only this morning, I realised that the instruction had been given already.
Last night I watched 3ABN and news from ShareHim.org touched my heart. The music drove it home. This morning I remembered the warning dream from 4hispeople.com to be aware of how my tithe is being used. I am convinced that directing my tithes to ShareHim is the way He wants me to help the labourers spread the Good News.
No, not the erectile dysfunction, Excessive Daytime Sleepiness (hypersomnia). For some reason, even now, I feel so sleepy. I usually have 6-8 hours sleep, but I've not had this kind of sleepiness during the day.
Originally I thought it was a lack of sleep, but this even persisted with 9 hours sleep, and not even the Doctor Who soundtrack can kick off this stupor.
Then I thought it was circadian rhythm problems, but it doesn't make sense. Why now?
Either way, it's lowering production at work (not really for pay; I'm helping my mum with file sorting and quality checking and all sorts of stuff).
For some reason today I just thought of my granduncle. So out of the blue, caught me off guard. I don't remember that man's face, only his wife, who is my grandmum's sister. I don't know much about him, other than what's already in wikipedia.
Lord Michael Chan. Hmm...this is a rather depressing thought isn't it? That the only amount of info I know comes out of wikipedia :-(
"Michael Chew Koon Chan, Baron Chan, MBE (6 March 1940 – 21 January 2006) was a Singaporean-British physician and politician, of Chinese descent..."
How'd he get so high up in the first place?? I didn't even know why he left Singapore.
Kind of sad, that the only time I saw his face was at his son's wedding (last year) but I've already forgotten. *sigh* Maybe when that contract is given, I might for once pay a visit to my relatives in the UK.
Went to London once, but all I remember of it was the amount of trouble my family had while trying to cross the road. Maybe if my family is able to go on vacation again, we could go visit Cardiff, where Torchwood is set. Rather hard to pronounce it without laughing :-) It's so tempting for me to slur the 'r'.
I was pleasantly surprised that there's even a road in Singapore called Cardiff Grove and a Cardiff Court. I really wonder how we get all these street names. Potong Pasir, Simei, Sembawang, etc. Never quite figured that out.
In this post, I want to tread carefully, because I fear the possible repercussions that might happen should I become complacent as a result of the meaning of this dream.
It was March 25, Tuesday, while sleeping (ie. 1-6 AM) that I had these two dreams.
1) This one was rather short. It kept switching from 1st person to 3rd person. I stood in a building I didn't recognize, when suddenly a tornado engulfed the building. The odd thing about it was that it just "formed" around the building. It didn't start with a funnel in the sky; it just showed up. Everything around me broke and got sucked into the tornado, but I just stood calm in the middle. That's when it got creepy. With the wind roaring, I heard a distinct laughter that wasn't one of happiness, but sounded more like a sadistic laugh. It sounded like a mix of a man and woman's voice. That's when I woke up from bed while still night. I felt tired still and slept again.
2) I walked out of a small cubicle's door, just after my mom told me to tell Dr. Loo (from another SDA church who's also my family's GP) about my worries. I walked a short ways when I looked to my left and saw a member of my church in Singapore (also named Matthew) teaching kids in Sabbath School. What surprised me was that the children weren't noisy. They talked in soft voices, paying attention to Matt. I realized that the whole small office space was crammed with Singapore SDA church members (and there weren't a lot, but still crammed). Then I walked into the main office space and saw a table in the center. Dr. Loo carried a number of files in his arms and laid them on the table. What was strange was that I he looked taller and more distinguished-looking even though he wore simple clothes. Then I noticed I felt warm and itchy and noticed that there was just one air-conditioning unit. Dr. Loo walked around and I told him I needed to talk with him. Several others (I saw my dad) I hadn't met gathered to listen. I asked, "It's been bugging me for some time now. I just have to ask this question. What would it have been like if they hadn't died in the explosion (no mention of bombs)?" Then the guy to my left said, "That's a rather moot point isn't it? ...(It carried on for a short bit, but I don't remember that little bit)" Then I turned around and saw a woman I didn't recognize, and we talked a little over a small detail over the definition of the dead. She was talking about that they aren't really "dead" since in God's eyes they're sleeping (like Jesus said about Lazarus and the little girl). I said that I believe that they actually are dead from human perspective. While I talked, for some reason her blue eyes stood out like my eyes zoomed in on them (I found this weird because there's only one caucasian lady I know in Singapore that has blue eyes, but this woman didn't look like her). Then I dismissed the argument we had, saying that it doesn't really matter that much because what really matters is that those who died will be resurrected. Both of us smiled and then I woke up.
If these two dreams really were from God (and so far the evidence says yes), then it would mean that I would get to live to see the Lord's Return without seeing death.
But what I fear about this is that I may get complacent and not seek the Higher Ground day by day and with each passing moment. I wish to push onward to His throne.
It's been so long a journey since that day my life changed to start on that narrow path.
Looking back, I realise the strangeness of my life. Unlike my peers, I started actually pursuing Christ's Higher Ground while still 15, and now I'm 18 going 19. All the usual allurements for teens didn't hold, they slipped off me. The idea of doing what God wants me to do started seeping into everday life. I even gave up reading fiction, started giving up games, movies, TV, that weren't healthy influences to my spiritual life.
Come to think of it, I really can't get disappointed my friends think I'm an oddball. Being with God really gives a whole different spice to life. :-) After all, not many kids my age can say God has given them multiple dreams and reproved my sins and explicitly shown the remedy to overcome the temptation. The downside of it all? I just can't put it in words easily related to everday ordinary folk. It's as strange and different as the lives of the Draculas and Brannaghs in 'Young Dracula' (just to illustrate the vast difference) or The Doctor and humans.
I’m pressing on the upward way, New heights I’m gaining every day; Still praying as I’m onward bound, “Lord, plant my feet on higher ground.”
I'm having a tough time concentrating. I keep thinking of updates in all my favourite shows. In the past two months, I've discovered The Dead Zone and Young Dracula, TV shows. Those have been so interesting and captivating. With The Dead Zone, it's the fast-paced puzzles. With Young Dracula, it's the depth in which emotions and thoughts are portrayed, occassionally exaggerrated to emphasize.
It's strange that neither of these two wonderfully scripted shows are making it to Singapore tv.
